35 DAYS

wow we have been out of school for 35 days! i have really wasted a month!!!! we are not doing much of anything. i am getting better at reading my scriptures each day though. our family is speaking in sacrament meeting sunday. my talk is 20 minutes long. wow! my brother and his wife are arriving tomorrow from utah. they are on the way to atlanta where their son lives and my other brother and currently my mom is visiting there too. theis is my 2 month break from taking care of mom. sam, my 16 year old finished being a teachers aid for volunteer hours at kindercamp today. he has been there for a month.now he will be home a little more to help me with major cleaning, blinds & windows. and painting the living room, kitchen, and his room. the week after the 4th kevin goes to BS camp and the week after that i will go to girls camp. summer will be over before we know it. charles has started dating his old girlfriend. i wonder if it is just because she is familar, or if the feelings are really coming back. i really just want him to be happy andbe able to take care of himself. i found a diamond ring that has 7 small stones on a band that i showed to danny. i really want it and hope he gets it for my late 30 th anniversary present and combined birthday.

29th day

wow we have been out of school for 29 days. i haven't been so good about writing everyday! life is trying to get back to normal. i still cry a lot, especially today because i went to aaron's blog and saw pictures of funeral and pictures of the van. loree and mason, megan, and michael left on the 10th and arrived home safely. we love them so much and just wish they were closer. i got my "seminary room" done. (cleaned out!) i have a nice comfy chair and foot stool in the closet room. haven't seemed to get much else done though. reading and relaxing. dana and i celebrated our 30th wedding anniversay last sunday (on father's day). he gave me some beautiful red roses and ballons and a cooling pad for my computer. i gave him a small frig for the bedroom and 10 CD's that are a replacement for the 1's our older son, charles lost. we are aspending tomorrow together, movie,etc. the boys are going on a float trip with YM. my brother is comming next week for a few days. it will be great to see him and his wife, elaine. dana, kevin and I have to give a talk in sacrament next week so i am working on that this week since my brother will be here next weekend. some cleaning to do this week but not much. sam has 4 more days of kindercamp then he will only be working at LJS. then hopefully we will get some painting done and the mini blinds washed. kev and i are home again so we are going to a movie, party put on by sam's orthodonist. we have 4 more weeks till mom comes back. life is much easier without her around to take care of. i will try to get better with this post stuff. i did figure out how to put some pictures on!

DAY 12

TODAY was ok. i felt better today. i got my nails done and a massage. then i went down and talked to loree some. i'm so glad mason is here with her. i love him. some tension going on but not totally unexpected. i wish loree didn't have to go through it though, cause she has enoough to do already. tomorrow won't be quite as easy. aaron's memorial service is tomorrow. michael and kevin had a great time today. it's sad they have to cram in 6 months worth of playing into a week. now i think this may be the last time they ever visit us since their is no family here anymore. that is very sad for me. friends are so hard to make and i still don't have a friend like loree. i guess sometimes you just can't ever have a replacement friend. but it is so hard to have had 1 then you really know what you are missing. i am just glad though i had the chance to have such a good close friend. i know she is going to have a hard summer trying to help cameron.

11TH DAY

today i worked really hard. my back is really hurting. whenever i have stress it goes straight to my back where i hurt myself from my car accident 4 years ago. i can't get a massage appointment till tomorrow. i cleaned my mom's room from top to bottom. washed all bedding down to mattresses and curtains. went through all drawers and closet. took out 2- 30 gallon trash bags of clothes mom doesn't wear out to give away. my main problem is getting sam motivated to get his cleaning done and kevin the same! loree got here @ 8pm and brought michael over. kevin was glad he got here finally. tomorrow i have a busy day... 11 nails, 2 massage and 7 my 1st seminary teachers meeting of the summer. i hope i have some time for loree tomorrow.

10th day

today is 10th day of vacation but really my vacation starts tomorrow. i just got back from taking mom to my brothers in memphis. i have a 7 week break from taking care of mom. i worry cause my sister-in-law doesn't want to help. they have @15 of thier family members who live within an hour of them. i think it is the least they can do to help for 7 weeks. i have 10 months. loree and family are coming tomorrow for aaron's memorial. so tomorrow is cleaning and laundry day. i have to go exercise and go to chiropractor though! my back is killing me! and i haven't exercised but 2 x's in last 2 weeks. this next week is going to be hectic. hope i find time to make entry every day. dan did some cleaning today so i just have final touches and still seminary room to do.

7TH DAY

WELL SO MUCH FOR WRITING EACH DAY! I HAVE NOT GOTTEN MUCH DONE THIS WEEK. I HAVE BEEN IN A DAZE STILL. I HAVE DONE A LOT OF CRYING AND QUESTIONING. KEVIN ASKED IF I WOULD HAVE ANY TEARS LEFT AFTER THE MEMORIAL SERVICE AND I TOLD HIM I HOPED I HAD FINISHED CRYING BY THE TIME LOREE GETS HERE! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MOTIVATED TO GET SAM'S ROOM CLEANED OUT SO LOREE AND MASON HAVE A REAL BED TO STAY IN. SINCE THEY AREN'T NEWLYWEDS ANY MORE I FIGURE THEY WANT MORE THAN 1 TWIN BED. HE HAS THE DOUBLE BED IN HIS ROOM. WE TOOK A 30 GALLON TRASH BAG OF SAM'S UNWORN CLOTHES OUT AND A 30 GALLON BAG OF KEVIN'S UNWORN CLOTHES OUT OF THE DRAWERS AND CLOSET. THEN MOVED THE TRUNDLE INTO THE PLAYROOM SO KIDS, WHICH ARE GIRLS AND BOYS DON'T HAVE TO CONGREGATE ON THE BED IN SAM'S ROOM TO WATCH MOVIES. WE MADE A LOW DAY BED/COUCH IN THE PLAY ROOM. NEXT IS TO REALLY CLEAN. THEN IT IS ON TO MAKING MY SEMINARY STUDY ROOM. ETC. SAM APPLIED FOR A JOB TODAY AT LONG JOHN SILVERS AND HAS 2ND INTERVIEW TOMORROW. HE ALMOST DIDN'T GET INTERVIEW TILL MGR. SAW WHERE HE HAD WRITTEN "THIS IS THE BEST LJS FISH I HAVE EVER HAD". HE IS WORKING AT KINDERCAMP WITH UPCOMING KINDERGARTENERS. HE IS HAVING A GREAT TIME. THEY CALL HIM MR. SAM. THERE ARE 18 KIDS IN HIS CLASS. THERE IS A TEACHER, HIM, AND A GIRL THAT JUST GRADUATED. CHARLES SAID "WHAT A GREAT WAY TO MEET GIRLS!" CHARLES WAS OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT, WE WENT OUT TO LOGAN'S ROADHOUSE. IT WAS REALLY GOOD. AARON'S MEMORIAL IS NEXT WEDNESDAY. I EXPECT THERE TO BE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE. SHE WAS LOVED BY MANY, MANY PEOPLE. TOMORROW I GET TO TAKE MOM TO GET HER HAIR DONE, AND NAILS DONE, AND A LUNCH DATE. THEN SAT. WE ARE DRIVING TO MEMPHIS TO TAKE MOM, I KNOW I SAY THIS ALMOST EVERY DAY.... WELL ACTUALLY NOT ALMOST.....I SAY IT MANY TIMES A DAY. BY THE 9TH MONTH I AM SOOOOOOO VERY TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF HER. THE 10TH MONTH IS VERY HARD. WAITING FOR LOREE TO CALL BACK I'M GOING TO GET READY FOR BED. WILL WRITE MORE TOMORROW.

4th day

today is better. i talked to loree, and am not as worried about her. cameron is surviving. the boys are fine physically. mallory is with them on the way to utah. there is going to be a memorial service here which will help everyone here. we had a memorial day breakfast at church this morning. and we have the missionaries for dinner. it was to be a cookout but since it is pouring down rain we are having pizza instead. charles is comming over. the boys are so glad. charles wants to return to church and go back to college and i am very happy! i take mom to memphis on sat so i will have a 2 month break. thank goodness! will write tomorrow.

3RD DAY

TODAY AT CHURCH WAS HORRIBLE EVERYONE WAS CRYING ABOUT AARON. WE ARE ALL SO WORRIED FOR CAMERON AND LOREE. I WANTTO PUT MY ARMS AROUND LOREE SO BAD. I WANT TO DO MY BEST FRIEND JOB AND I ALL CAN DO IS TALK TO HER ON THE PHONE. MY EYES ARE SO SWOLLEN I WANTED TO WEAR MY SUNGLASSES THE WHOLE TIME AT CHURCH BUT I DIDN'T. I'M JUST IN A DAZE.

TERRIBLE

THIS AFTERNOON I GOT NEWS THAT AARON WAS IN A CAR WRECK. AARON WAS KILLED. THE BOYS AND MALLORY ARE IN THE HOSPITAL IN DENVER. THIS IS SO UNREAL. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE IS GONE! NOT A GOOD DAY.

2nd day of summer vacation

well we survived another tornado warning at 6 am this morning. This is the 1 thing I hate about where we live! Dana wouldn't get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Kevin & I were scared. We let Mom sleep. We didn't have to wake her up thank goodness. Sam was spending the night at a friends and they had a basement to go to but they had to go outside to get into it. He said they got soaking wet. I have never seen it rain so hard. Aaron & Mallory had to drive through it last night. There wasn't anywhere for them to stop all rooms were full. They were in Denver @ 8 our time this morning. I'm off to get mom's hair fixed and to do grocery shopping then on to the laundry since I taught all week and Dana had surgery thursday and I helped Aaron Friday I am way behind on my household duties. Only 6 days till I take mom to Richard's. YEA. Break for 2 months for me!!!!!!!!

1ST DAY OF BLOG

TODAY I HELPED MY FRIEND, AARON PACK BECAUSE SHE IS MOVING OVER 1,000 MILES AWAY. HER MOM MOVED 1 1/2 YEARS AGO. HER MOM, LOREE IS MY BEST FRIEND. NOW ALMOST ALL TIES TO HER ARE GONE. ONLY HER SON IS LEFT HERE, HE IS MY SON'S BEST FRIEND AND HE IS PROBABLY MOVING THIS SUMMER. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MY FAMILY IS BEING RIPPED APART. MY HEART IS VERY SAD. AARON'S LITTLE BOYS WERE A PAIN BUT I LOVED THEM VERY MUSH. AARON IS SUCH A LAID BACK MOM SO OPPOSITE FROM ME. I ADMIRE HER ABILITY TO LET THE BOYS BE BOYS AND GET DIRTY, ETC. I NEVER COULD DO THAT WITH MY BOYS. I KNOW SHE IS EXCITED ABOUT BEING ABLE TO STAY HOME AGAIN WITH HER BOYS BUT I AM GOING TO MISS THEM BEING DOWN THE STREET.